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How to help yourself.

I thought I would share some beneficial links I have found below for online parenting courses absolutely also links for self help therapy. One was recommended to me by my GP and although I never finished it I thought it was great mashallah tabarakhallah.

Mood Gym : this is a course uses cognitive behavioural therapy in an attempt to combat the negative thinking one associates with themselves. It shows you how to chance your mentality and identifies what kind of ‘thinker’ you are. I’m determined to finish this one in sha Allah!! Continue reading

Who am I?

As I gaze at myself in the mirror I don’t recognize the thirty-odd-something year old staring back at me. I seem a shadow of my former bubbly beautiful self and I can’t help but feel bitter at how time has been unkind to me. My ears prick up at the sound of irregular breathing coming from my baby and I freeze and glance at her; but she reverts back to her natural pattern with the soft baby breaths I have come to know and love so much. I peer into the depths of my own eyes and what I find there I find frightening; where did she go? Where did that spark of life go from within her eyes? Why is she so sad, this girl, no this woman and why is she so afraid of the unknown and her future albeit one of uncertainty? Continue reading

Hijab

My teary eyes glisten as I rise from sujood,
My heart trembles with fear as I pronounce the durood.
What if my Salah is not accepted for I am a sinner
Distracted by the allure of the dunya thinking I too, was a winner?
O’ my sisters heed my advice!
Break free from the chains, free from the vice!
It has you round the throat yet you cannot see
Don’t let it be too late, don’t end up like me!
Hijab is not an option it’s a fard upon you
Your soul He will take, your final destination rests upon you.
Who has that much arrogance to leave it to chance?
Have you forgotten He watches as you twirl and prance?
You want Allah swt to bless you yet you ignore His command,
Oh sisters if only you knew how severe is His reprimand!
It is for your safety you are told to cover
To bare all to your husband only and not to any other.
Can’t you see the ones with noor are the ones veiled from prying eyes?
Change whilst you have the chance, no man knows when he shall die!
What if you find out then, that this is what made you fall from grace?
What if your final abode becomes the hellish fiery place?
For the sake of Allah swt, to Insha’allah gain jannah – may this be an accepted good deed,
Be wise sisters not foolish, and pay my warning some heed.

Hope

When pain overwhelms you and the hot tears fall,
remember Allah has a plan and only He knows all.
When you’re down on your knees screaming and the self-loathing within your head resounds,
remember Allah has not left you, for He is all around.
When you gaze in your own eyes and see nothing but dread,
remember the reward of good deeds carry on even when you’re dead.
When the world turns away and you’re broken and lonely
remember Allah is your true friend, the one and only.
When the pain of injustice burns you inside and sears,
remember Allah sees all and He acknowledges your fears.
When you’re up against the world and are too exhausted to fight,
remember nothing happens without His will and might.
When you read this poem please make dua for me,
We all struggle inside, but you don’t necessarily see.

Fighting back!

The stupidest thing I ever did was to let a man make me feel substandard.  It’s true what they say, you know in your heart he isn’t right in some way and you just put it down to fears or thinking “he will never treat me like that”.  They get under your skin and use your weakness against you, the tears that they once could not bear to see falling from your eyes now has no effect on them.  Now they tell you that you are moody and dramatic – they should see how they behave when they are ill!  It’s simple, they get bored and that is supposed to be your problem which you are meant to fix; Allah only knows how they have the time to get bored when they should be thinking about their Akhira and impending death!  But this shows something clearly, their focus is not on their Deen, and is someone like that really right for you anyway?  Would you want someone like that teaching your son how to be a man?  One sod is enough, do you really want to hate that you gave birth to another?!  This is a blog written full of anger at how I see my sisters – good sisters being mistreated by men.  I wish I could just say “ukhti it’s going to get better” but unless they believe it this wont have any effect on them. Continue reading

Reflections

Sometimes you have to lose it all to understood what you had in the first place.  When I was married and had no financial problems and had everything done for me I didn’t appreciate anything; it was only after this was taken away that I gained appreciation – not for what I had but for who had given it to me: Allah.  The concept is so simple that a lot of people have trouble understanding this, we are put on this Earth to worship our creator and that is the only reason.  This of course, takes on different forms like praying and taking care of the Earth and helping others and even showing kindness to animals etc but Allah is our goal and everything on this Earth should be tools to get us there.  The problem that people have, that even I had, is that we expect our lives to be good.  Why should it be?  Where was that ever promised to us?  It’s hard to get your head round because that takes faith and not many people have true faith.  When we don’t get what we want then we blame Allah and say He is cruel; if I don’t let my kids have snacks because it will ruin their appetite does that make me cruel?  If they then tell me I’m not fair and don’t like me, I will still be their mother – that is fact, you cannot change that and I don’t need their approval to be their mother, I will still do my job as their mother.  It’s the same concept with God; He doesn’t need us or our approval, if He really is the Almighty then regardless of what we say He will still be the All Powerful, we need him. Continue reading